Friday, August 17, 2018

Irish Blonde at Casino

A sexy Irish blonde at a Casino, seemed a little intoxicated 😎

She bet 20,000 Euro on a single Roll of dice.

She said - "I hope you don't mind, but I feel Luckier when I'm nude."

With that, she removed her clothes, rolled the dice and yelled-
"Come on baby, Mama needs new clothes!"

As the Dice came to a stop, she jumped and yelled - "Yes, Yes,
I Won.. I Won.."

She hugged each dealer and picked up her winnings and clothes and left.

The dealers gazed at each other, dumbfounded. Finally, one of them asked-
"What number rolled on the dice?"
The other - "I don't know, I thought you were watching."

Moral of the story:

1.Not All drunks are DrunkπŸ˜‰,
2.Not all Blondes are dumb😳,
3.But all Men are Men!!!
πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

--
Food Monks is Toronto's premium food-commerce tiffin service which allows you to order delicious home-style food. https://foodmonks.ca/ 

Tuesday, July 25, 2017

Wedding & Welding

An engineer was asked:

"What is the Technical Difference between welding and wedding ...."

He replied: "Not much; both are joints, in a way.......In welding there are sparks first and bonding forever;  whereas in wedding there is bonding first πŸ’and sparks πŸ’₯⚡forever ..."

--
Great Indian Recipes

Friday, February 26, 2016

Ladies Discuss Sex Life

Mrs Shukla: I notice that when I go down on Shuklaji and give a blowjob his balls are always cold.

Mrs Khosla: Mr Khosla's balls are cold too, when I give Blowjob.

Mrs Nair is shocked, How can you both do such thing, It is disgusting.

Both explain to mrs nair that a blowjob is the best way in getting him to buy Jewelry.

Mrs. Nair agrees and says-I will try tonight.

Next Day....Both are shocked to see Mrs Nair's face bruised and beaten black and blue,

What Happened they asked??

Mrs Nair: Mr. Nair did this.

Ladies: But why ??

Mrs Nair: I don't know, I was giving blowjob and all I said was - Hey your balls are also cold like Mr. Shukla and Mr. Khosla!!

Wednesday, February 24, 2016

Santa's Divorce

Closing the Divorce and Alimony case of Santa Singh vs Preeto Kaur...

Judge : "I have reviewed this case carefully and have decided to give your wife alimony of Rs 2,00,000 per month."

Santa: "That's very fair & kind & generous of you, your honor. And whenever possible, I'll also try to give her some money myself "

Saturday, November 21, 2015

The British & The Indian At The Bar

A British guy walks into a bar in New Jersey and before he could order his drink, he notices an Indian man wearing a Gandhi Topi & Dhoti...

Having a personal grudge against Indians, the British guy says loudly to the American bartender to the advantage of everyone seated in the bar, "Drinks for everyone in here, except for the Indian over there..."

The first round of drinks were served, and the Indian gives him a smile, gestures to him saying, "Thank you!" in a loud voice.

The British guy is upset and again orders loudly to the American bartender to serve another two round of drinks to everyone except the Indian.

The Indian seems to be unruffled and he continues to smile, and yells back, "Thank you Sir!"

The British guy is mad by now and asks the bartender, "What's wrong with this Indian ? I've insulted him by ordering drinks for everyone but him, and yet he smiles back and keeps thanking me.
Has he lost his mind?"


"No, Sir," replies the
bartender.

"He is
Kantibhai Patel, the owner of this Bar..."

Thursday, February 26, 2015

The Man & His Monkey

A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink, and while
he's drinking, the monkey jumps all over the place, eating everything
behind the bar. Then the monkey jumps on to the pool table and swallows a
billiard ball.

The bartender screams at the guy, "Your monkey just ate the cue ball off
my pool table -- whole!"

"Sorry," replied the guy. "He eats everything in sight, the little bastard. I'll pay for everything."
The man finishes his drink, pays and leaves.

Two weeks later, he's in the bar with his pet monkey, again. He orders a
drink, and the monkey starts running around the bar. The monkey finds a
maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his ass, pulls it out and
eats it.

The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did now?" he
asks.

"Yeah," replies the guy. "He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he
swallowed that cue ball, he measures stuff first."

The Blonde Joke

An old, blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders some coffee.

After sitting there for a while, he yells to the waiter, 'Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?'
The bar immediately falls absolutely silent.

In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says,
'Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it's only fair, given that you're blind, there's five things that you should know:

1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.
2. The bouncer is a blonde girl.
3. I'm a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weightlifter.
5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.

'Now, think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?'

The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head, and mutters, 'Nope...not if I've gotta explain it five times.'

===
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