Why British Soldiers Wear Red

A long time ago, Britain and France were at war. During one battle, the French captured an English colonel.

They took him to their headquarters, and the French general began to question him.

Finally, as an afterthought, the French general asked, "Why do you English officers all wear red coats? Don't you know the red material makes you
easier targets for us to shoot at?"

In his bland English way, the officer informed the general that the reason English officers wear red coats is if they are shot the blood won't show,
and the men they are leading won't panic.

And that is why, from that day to this, all Pakistani Army officers wear brown pants.

Crazy Sheppard And His Herd

There was this shepherd who had this whole flock of sheep. He wanted to get the sheep pregnant so that he could increase his stock, but he was too poor to buy a male sheep. So, he figured the only thing he could do was to get the sheep pregnant himself.

One morning the man loaded up all the sheep into his truck and drove them over to a barn where nobody could see him. He screwed each sheep and then loaded them back in the truck and brought them back to the pasture near his house. He went to bed that night after a long day's work.

The next morning he woke up, and looked out the bedroom window expecting all the sheep to be laying down on their sides, because that is what the sheep do when they are pregnant. But, all the sheep were still standing.

The guy is surprised and a little disappointed, but he gets up, loads the sheep back into the truck, takes them to the barn and tries to get them impregnated. He wakes up the next morning and looks out the window and sees that the sheep are all standing up. So, he loads them in the truck, takes them in the barn and does them all, yet again.

The next morning, he is so exhausted by his work, he asks his wife to look out the window and look at the sheep. She does this and he asks her if they are laying down on their sides. She says, "No, they are all in the truck, and one is honking the horn!"

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Easy cure for hiccups

A woman went to her doctor's office. She was seen by one of the new doctors, but after about 4 minutes in the examination room, she burst out screaming and ran down the hall.

An older doctor stopped her and asked what the problem was, and she explained. He had her sit down and relax in another room.

The older doctor marched back to the first and demanded, "What's the matter with you? Mrs. Terry is 63 years old, she has four grown children and seven grandchildren, and you told her she was pregnant?"

The new doctor smiled smugly as he continued to write on his clipboard.

"Cured her hiccups though, didn't it?"

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Visit to the dentist

A woman and her husband interrupted their vacation to go to the dentist.
"I want a tooth pulled, and I don't want any pain killers because I'm in a big hurry," the woman said. " Just extract the tooth as quickly as possible, and we'll be on our way."

The dentist was quite impressed. "You're certainly a courageous woman," he said. "Which tooth is it?"

The woman turned to her husband and said, "Show him your tooth, dear."

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Cricket In Heaven

Sachin Tendulkar and Sourav Ganguly, now pretty old guys in their mid 80s, are sitting on a park bench feeding pigeons and talking about cricket, like they do every day.

Sachin turns to Sourav and says, "Do you think there's cricket in heaven?"
Ganguly thinks about it for a minute and replies, "I dunno. But let's make a deal: if I die first, I'll come back and tell you if there's cricket in heaven and if you die first, you do the same."
They shake on it and sadly, a few months later, poor Sachin passes away.
Only a couple of days later, Ganguly is sitting there feeding the pigeons by himself, when he hears a voice whisper, "Sourav...Sourav !"
Ganguly responds, "Sachin! Is that you?"
"Yes it is, Sourav," whispers Sachin's ghost.
Ganguly, still amazed, asks, "So.... is there cricket in heaven?"
"Well," says Sachin, "I've got good news and bad news."
"Gimme the good news first," says Ganguly.
Sachin says, "Well... there is cricket in heaven."
Ganguly says, "That's great and what news could be bad enough to ruin that ?"
Sachin sighs and whispers, "You are going to open the innings this Friday."

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3 Answers Men Are Afraid Of

1. (Whatever)

Men: What to have for dinner?
Women: Whatever...

Men: Why don't we have steamboat?
Women: Don't want, once i ate steamboat and later got pimples on my face.

Men: Alright, why don't we have Si Chuan cuisine.
Women: Yesterday we ate Si Chuan, why eat it today again?

Men: Hm..... I suggest we have seafood
Women: Seafood is no good, i ate it once, then later I got diarrhea.

Men: Then what you suggest?
Women: Whatever..

2. (Anything)

Men: So what should we do now?
Women: Anything

Men: How about watching movie? It's been a Long time since we
watched movie.
Women: Watching movie is no good, it's waste time.

Men: How about bowling, or do some exercises?
Women: Exercise in such hot day?

Men: Then let's find a cafe and have coffee.
Women: Drinking coffee will affect my sleep

Men: Then what you suggest?
Women: Anything

3. (You decide)

Men: Then we just go home
Women: You decide

Men: Let take bus, I will accompany you
Women: Bus is dirty and crowded. I don't want.

Men: Ok we will take a Taxi
Women: Not worth it... for such a short distance

Men: Alright, then we walk.
Women: What! Walk with an empty stomach?

Men: Then what you suggest?
Women: You decide

Men: Let's have dinner first
Women: Whatever...

Men: What to eat?
Women: Anything

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A Bachelor

This is a conversation that took place between (Y) and a marketing guy(X)

X: Which shaving cream do you use?

Y: Baba's

X: Which aftershave do you use?

Y: Baba's

X: Which deodorant do you use?

Y: Baba's

X: Which toothpaste do you use?

Y: Baba's

X: Which shampoo do you use?

Y: Baba's

X: Which socks do you use?

Y: Baba's

X (Frustrated) : Okay, tell me, what is this Baba? Is it an international company???

..

..

Y: No, He is my roommate

Cheers to all the bachelors of the world!!!!

Married people (or soon-to-get- married) can observe 2 minutes of silence to mourn the loss of this privilege.

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