Tuesday, February 27, 2007

I am the Boss

The boss was complaining in a staff meeting the other day that he wasn't getting any respect.
The next day, he brought a small sign that

Read: "I'm the Boss !"
He then taped it to his office door.
Later that day when he returned from lunch, he found that someone had taped a note to the sign that said: "Your wife called, she wants her sign back!"



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Donald MacDonald

Donald MacDonald from the Isle of Skye was admitted to Oxford University, and was now living in his first year of residence there. His clan was very excited that one of their own had made it into the upper class of education, but was concerned how he’d do in "that strange land." After the first month, his mother came to visit, with reinforcements of whiskey and oatmeal.
"And how do you find the English students, Donald?" she asked.
"Oh, Mother," he replied, shaking his head sadly, "they’re such terrible, noisy people: The one on that side keeps banging his head against the wall, and won’t stop; and the one on the other side screams and screams and screams away into the night."
"But Donald! How do you manage with those dreadful noisy English neighbours?"
"Well, mother, I just ignore ’em. I just stay here quietly, playing my bagpipes..."




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The Manager

The manager of a large corporation got a heart attack, and the doctor told him to go for several weeks to a farm to relax. The guy went to a farm, and after a couple of days he was very bored, so he asked the farmer to give him some job to do.
The farmer told him to clean the shit of the cows. The farmer thought that to somebody coming from the city, working the whole life sitting in an office, it will take over a week to finish the job, but for his surprise the manager finished the job in less than one day.
The next day the farmer gave to the manager a more difficult job: to cut the heads of 500 chickens. The farmer was sure that the manager will not be able to do the job, but at the end of the day the job was done.
The next morning, as most of the jobs in the farm were done, the farmer asked the manager to divide a bag of potatoes in two boxes: one box with small potatoes, and one box with big potatoes.
At the end of the day the farmer saw that the manager was sitting in front of the potatoes bag, but the two boxes were empty. The farmer asked the manager: "How is that you made such difficult jobs during the first days,and now you cannot do this simple job?"
The manager answered: "Listen, all my life I’m cutting heads and dealing with shit, but now you ask me to make decisions."



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Fun At Party

A CEO throwing a party takes his executives on a tour of his opulent mansion. In the back of the property, the CEO has the largest swimming pool any of them has ever seen. The huge pool, however, is filled with hungry alligators. The CEO says to his executives "I think an executive should be measured by courage. Courage is what made me CEO. So this is my challenge to each of you: if anyone has enough courage to dive into the pool, swim through those alligators, and make it to the other side, I will give that person anything they desire. My job, my money, my house, anything!"
Everyone laughs at the outrageous offer and proceeds to follow the CEO on the tour of the estate. Suddenly, they hear a loud splash. Everyone turns around and sees the CFO (Chief Financial Officer) in the pool, swimming for his life. He dodges the alligators left and right and makes it to the edge of the pool with seconds to spare. He pulls himself out just as a huge alligator snaps at his shoes.
The flabbergasted CEO approaches the CFO and says, "You are amazing. I’ve never seen anything like it in my life. You are brave beyond measure and anything I own is yours. Tell me what I can do for you."
The CFO, panting for breath, looks up and says, "You can tell me who the hell pushed me in the pool!!"



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A Sardar

Banta Singh was traveling in a crowded bus. He was carrying the passport size photograph of his son (for college admission).?

Accidentally,the photograph fell down from his pocket.He started searching for it frantically & found it on the floor, below the ends of a woman's saree.

He asked her "Can you lift that saree? I wanna take photograph"

The rest is history. He was beaten so badly that he had to be admitted to hospital. He was surprised to see Santa Singh on the bed next to him,in a worse condition. Butol explained what happened to him.

He had gone to a remote village to work. He finished late and missed the last bus. He couldn't find any hotel.

So he approached a nearby house and asked the Owner whether he can stay there for the night. The Owner replied "I have 2 grownup daughters.? Sorry,I can't allow you to stay".

He approached the next house and asked whether he can stay there for the night.The Owner replied,"I have 3 grown up daughters.? Sorry, I can't allow you to stay".

He went to the next house and asked:" Do you have "grown up" daughters?".?
The Owner asked,"WHY?????????"
Butol replied, " I wanted to stay here for a night....."
The rest is history.

Moral of the story:
IS "WORDS GET YOU INTO DEEP TROUBLE IF YOU DON"T USE IT CORRECTLY."





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Monday, February 26, 2007

Sardarji Kidnapper

There was a Sardarji who was down on his luck. In order to raise some money he decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom.
He went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him,"I've kidnapped you."
The Sardarji then wrote a note saying: "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put Rs.2,00,000 in a paper bag & put it beneath the mango tree next to the slide on the north side of the city playground". Signed, "A Sardarji".
The sardarji then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents.
The next morning the Sardarji checked, and sure enough a paper bag was sitting beneath the mango tree. The Sardarji opened up the bag and found the Rs.2,00,000 in cash with a note saying, "How can a sardarji do this to a fellow Sardarji? Please leave my son."






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Recognition

An American, a Japanese and a Chinese went for a hike one day.It was very hot.
They were sweating and exhausted when they came upon a small lake.

Since it was fairly secluded, they took off all their clothes and jumped into the water.
Feeling refreshed, the trio decided to pick a few berries while enjoying their "freedom."

As they were crossing an open area, along comes a group of ladies
from town. Unable to get to their clothes in time, the American and the
Japanese covered their privates and the Chinese covered his face while they ran for cover.

After the ladies had left and the men got their clothes back on,the American and the Japanese asked the

Chinese why he covered his face rather than his privates.
The Chinese replied, "I don't know about you, but in my country,it's my face that people would recognize."





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A Consultant

A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a Broni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window and asked the shepherd,..........

"If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your flock, will you give me one?"

The shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his peacefully-grazing flock and calmly answered, "Sure."

The yuppie parked his car, whipped out his IBM Thinkpad and connected it to a cell phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the internet where he called up a GPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then opened up a database and an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas. He sent an email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response. Finally, he prints out a 150 page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized printer then turns to the shepherd and says,.........

"You have exactly 1586 sheep".

"That is correct; take one of the sheep" said the shepherd.

He watches the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his car.

Then the shepherd says: "If I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my sheep?"

"OK, why not" answered the young man.

"Clearly, you are a consultant" said the shepherd.

"That's correct" says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"

"No guessing required" answers the shepherd. "You turned up here although nobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked, and you don't know crap about my business. Now give me back my dog".





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Thursday, February 22, 2007

God In Joking Mood

A man was praying to god.

He said, "God ?"

God responded, "Yes?"

And the Guy said, " Can I ask a question?"

"Go right ahead", God said.

"God, what is a million years to you?"

God said, "A million years to me is only a second."

The man wondered.

Then he asked, "God, what is a million dollars worth to you?"

God said, "A million dollars to me is a penny."

So the man said, "God can I have a penny ?"

And God cheerfully said,

"Sure!.......just a second ."





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Monday, February 19, 2007

Why Parents Get Grey Hair

The boss of a big company needed to call one of his employees about an urgent problem with one of the main computers, dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted with a child's whisper,"Hello."

"Is your daddy home?" he asked.

"Yes," whispered the small voice.

"May I talk with him?"

The child whispered, "No."

Surprised, and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, is your Mommy there?"

"Yes."

"May I talk with her?"

Again the small voice whispered, "No."

Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message, the boss asked, "Is anybody else there?"

"Yes," whispered the child, "a policeman."

Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked, "May I speak with the policeman?"

"No, he's busy", whispered the child.

"Busy doing what?"

"Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the Fireman", came the whispered answer.

Growing concerned and even worried as he heard what sounded like a helicopter through the ear piece on the phone the boss asked, "What is that noise?"

"A hello-copper" answered the whispering voice.

"What is going on there?" asked the boss, now alarmed.

In an awed whispering voice the child answered, "The search team just landed the hello-copper."

Alarmed, concerned, and even more then just a little frustrated the Boss asked, "What are they searching for?"

Still whispering, the young voice replied along with a muffled giggle:"ME."




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Laugh Bits

Teacher : What happened in 1869?
Student: Gandhi ji was born.
Teacher : What happened in 1873?
Student: Gandhiji was four years old.


Teacher : Ramya and Shilpa!,why are you late for school,today?
Shilpa: Madam, I lost a one rupee coin and was searching for it.
Teacher: Ramya,what about you?
Ramya: Madam..., I was not able to move ....because I was hiding that coin under my feet.


Question: What is the full form of maths.
Answer: Mentally affected teachers harassing students


Teacher : Now children , if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him then what virtue would I be showing ?
Student : BROTHERLY LOVE


Teacher : Because of Gandhiji's hard work what do we get on 15th August.
Student: A holiday


Q: Which is the pan in which we cannot fry something?......
A: Japan


Teacher : Tomorrow there will be a lecture on Sun.Everyone must attend it.
Raju: No ma'am! I will not be able to attend it.
Teacher : Why?
Raju: My mother will not allow me to go so far!!!


Teacher: "Can anyone give me an example of Coincidence?"
Johnny: "Sir, my mother and father got married on the same day same time."


Teacher: How old is ur father.
Sunny: As old as I am.
Teacher: How is it possible?
Sunny: He became father only after I was born.


Teacher: There is a frog,Ship is sinking,potatoes cost Rs 3/kg .Then,what is my age?
STUDENT: 32 yrs.
Teacher: How do you know?
STUDENT: Well,my sister is 16 yrs old and she is half mad.


Student: (to teacher)Ma'am my pen has run out of ink.
Teacher: Go run after it.


Teacher: Ramu,get up.How can you sleep in my class?
Ramu: I can teacher,if you keep your voice down.


Teacher: Where does God live?
Little boy: I think he lives in our bathroom.
Teacher: Why do you say that?
Little boy: Well, every morning my daddy bangs on the door and says, 'God, are you still in there?'


Teacher: "What is your name?".
Student: "Mera naam Surya Prakash hai."
Teacher: "When I ask a question in English, answer it in English."
Student: "My name is Sunlight."






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Saturday, February 10, 2007

Bubble Bath

A new lady teacher, came to teach 8th standard students. As it was the first day, she gave her intro, and asked all the students to introduce themselves with -name, and hobby. She said " Let's start with the boys first. Boys start giving their introduction...
First boy : " My name is john, and my hobby is to see bubble in the bath tub. Teacher was confused to listen and said " interesting - well, ok. In fact we must be honest in telling the hobby. And after all there is essentially a child in each of us. So its ok john. Yes next-"
Second boy : " myself peter and my hobby is to see bubble in the bath tub".
Teacher now got surprised and said " gooodd.. I like the spirit of supporting a friend . ok next - " Third boy : I m smith and my hobby is to see bubble in the bath tub".
Teacher : " guys are u joking or what ? please be sincere. Ok next - "This continues, and the last boy stands up : I m herry, and my hobby is to see bubble in the bath tub ".
Exhausted, the teacher said, "I don't think I will be able to teach u ungrown boyz for long. Any way, now the girls please - "
First girl : I m july and my hobby is to see birds
Teacher : "gooodd. At last I got something different. Ok next-"
Second : I m ruby and I like to collect perfumes "
Teacher : " now its like educated grown up girls . ok next - u sweet girl-yes u - "

Third Most beautiful girl of the class .........."Mam my name is Bubble, and hobby is to take bath three times a day " !!



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Gender Bender

A French teacher was explaining to her College class that in French,unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine.

House is feminine "la maison." Pencil is masculine "le crayon."

A student asked, "What gender is 'computer'?" Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups-male and female-and asked them to decide for themselves whether "computer" should be a masculine or a feminine noun. Each group was asked to give four reasons for their recommendation.

The men's group decided that "computer" should definitely be of the feminine gender (la computer) because:

  • No one but their creator understands their internal logic;

  • The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else;

  • Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later review;

  • As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.



The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be masculine (le computer) because:

  • In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;

  • They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves;

  • They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem;

  • As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.



The women won.



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Girlfriend

One day, a girl, 16yrs old, heard from her mother that if she will do a regular prayer for 4 yrs, a divine "Devi" will come to her dreams & give her 3 boons. So she decided to do it. She completed 4 yrs successfully, doing prayer regularly.

Now it was a day for "Devi" to come. So she slept earlier with thoughts in her mind to ask.

And, really a "Devi" comes in her dreams. Now this is the dialogue between them.

Devi: O Girl, you prayed to me regularly within last 4yrs, so I am very very happy with you. I will complete any of your 3 wishes.You can ask anything you like, but there is one condition.

Girl: Condition!, what is that?

Devi: You have a boy-friend?

Girl: Yes.

Devi: When you were doing a prayer, he was waiting for you, so he also sacrificed same as you. Moreover, he didn't know anything about boon and all, so he is also eligible for the boons. So whatever you will ask, he will get 10 times more than that of you. If you are agreed, then proceed for the 1st boon.

Girl: (After thinking for some time ... ): Yes, I am ready.

Girl: 1st, Make me 10 times richer than the richest person in the world.

Devi: But your boy-friend will be 10 times richer than you.

Girl: It's OK.

Devi: Be as you wish!

Girl: 2nd, Make me 10 times more beautiful than the most beautiful girl in the world.

Devi: But your boy-friend will be 10 times handsome than the most handsome boy in the world.

Girl: It's OK.

Devi: Be as you wish.

Devi: Now the last boon remains.

Girl: O Devi, please give me a MILD HEART-ATTACK.

Devi: What? Are you sure!

Girl: Yes. Very sure!

Devi: Be as you wish.

Think friends,
what happened to her boy-friend, he got a severe heart-attack & died at once, while the girl remained alive. Thus, the girl became the world's most beautiful girl and the richest one, too.

Moral of the story:
So intelligent the girls are! Girls are really more intelligent than we believe about them to be. So be careful boys!

Now, girls please stop reading... Guys continue till the end...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

Dear Guys, don't worry, actually what done is something different than what you all think!

Actually, the girl's boy-friend got a heart-attack, 10 TIMES MILDER than that of the girl. So the boy-friend lived longer than the girl, being world's richest and the most handsome boy.

Moral of the story:
Dear Guys, the girls are not really that much intelligent than what we believe them to be. So don't worry if you think that you have girl-friend, intelligent than you!!!!






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Confusion

Confusion confuses and creates confusion to further the confusion...
Conversation of William Knott and Mr. Watt.


"Who's calling?" was the answer to the telephone.

"Watt."

"What is your name, please?"

"Watt's my name."

"That's what I asked you. What's your name?"

"That's what I told you. Watt's my name."

A long pause, and then from Watt, "Is this James Brown?"

"No, this is Knott."

"Please tell me your name."

"Will Knott."

YOU LEFT THE TALKERS AT A POINT WHERE THEY WERE TOTALLY CONFUSED.READ THE REST OF WHAT HAPPENED...

"Why not?"

"Huh? What do you mean why not?"

"Yeah! Why won't you tell me your name?"

"But I told you my name!"

"Didn't you say you will not?"

"Not not, knott, Will Knott!"

"That's what I mean."

"So you know my name."

"Of course not!"

"Good. So now, what is yours?"

"Watt. Yours?"

"Your name!"

"Watt's my name."

"How the hell do I know? I am asking you!"

"Look I have been very patient and I have told you my name and you have not even told me yours yet."

"You have been patient, what about me?"

"I have told you my name so many times and it is you who have not told me yours yet."

"Of course not!"

"See, you even know my name!"

"Of course not!"

"Then why do you keep saying of course Knott?"

"Because I don't."

[Pause]

"What is your name?"

"See, you know my name!"

"Of course not!"

"Then why do you keep asking ,Watt, is your name?"

"To find out your name!"

"But you already know it!"

"What?"

"See, but you know mine!"

"Of course not!"

"Exactly!"

NOW THEY ARE AT A POINT WHERE BOTH THINK THE OTHER KNOWS THEIR NAME,BUT THEY THEMSELVES DON'T KNOW THE OTHER'S NAME.

"Listen, listen! , wait; if I asked you what your name is, what will be
your answer?"

"Watt's my name."

"No, no, give me only one word."

"Watt"

"Your name!"

"Right!"

[Pause before it hits him]

"Oh, Wright!"

"Yeah!"

"So why didn't you say it before?"

"I told you so many times!"

"You never said Wright before"

"Of course I did."

"Ok I won't argue any more. Do you know my name?"

"I do not."

"Well, there you go, now we know each other's name."

"I do not!"

"Good!"

[Pause before it hits him]

"Oh, Guud!"

"Good."

"No wonder, it took me so long, is that Dutch?"

"No, it's Knott!"

"Oh, okay. At least the names are clear now Guud."

"Yes Wright."

NOW THEY BOTH THINK THEY KNOW EACH OTHER'S NAME AS WELL !!

Wright?

Guud!






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Wednesday, February 7, 2007

The Witness

A witness to an automobile accident was testifying. The lawyer asked him, "Did you actually see the accident?"
The witness: "Yes, sir."
The lawyer: "How far away were you when the accident happened?"
The witness: "Thirty-one feet, six and one quarter inches."
The lawyer (thinking he'd trap the witness): "Well, sir, will you tell the jury how you knew it was exactly that distance?"
The witness: "Because when the accident happened I took out a tape and measured it. I knew some annoying lawyer would ask me that question."



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Tuesday, February 6, 2007

Little Johnny At School

One day the teacher decides to play an animal game. She holds up a picture of a giraffe and asks if anyone knows what it is.No one raises his/her hand.The teacher says, "See it's long neck What animal has a long neck?" Sally holds up her hand and asks if it is a giraffe. "Very good, Sally," the teacher replies.
Next she holds up a picture of a zebra. None of the students holds up his/her hand."See the stripes on this animal? What animal has stripes?"
Billy holds up his hand and says it is a zebra. "Very good, Billy," the teacher replies.Next she holds up a picture of a deer.None of the students holds up his/her hand ."See the big antlers on this animal. What animal has horns like this?"
Still no one guesses. "Let me give you another hint: it's something your mother calls your father."

Johnny shouts out, "I know what it is! It's a horny bastard."





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Laloo Yadav

Laloo Yadav's car was travelling along a village road on the way to Patna, when all of a sudden a piglet jumps out in front of his car.
The piglet dies on the spot.

Laloo, upset, tells the driver to go find the owner of the piglet so that he can pay the damages. The driver goes to the nearby village and comes back after an hour with two bags full of money.

Laloo wants to know what happened.

The driver tells him "Maine jab gaon pahuncha to dekha ki kuchh log ped ke niche baithe hain. Jub main unko bataya ki kya hua, tab sare log hamra aas paas jama ho gaye. Humko laga ki aaj to hamari pitayee hogee. Par maine dekha ki saare log paisa jama kar rahe hain. Hum socha ki yeh sara paisa wo jaanvar ke malik ke liye hai. Par un logo ne saara paisa hamein de diya, aur kaha 'bahut achchha kaam kiya hai re bhaiya, bahut achchha.'"

Laloo says, "Sasoor ka nati, theek theek bata mujhko, tu unko kya bola tha?"

The driver replies "Maine kaha ki main Laloo Yadav ka driver hoon aur maine soowar-ka bachcha ko maar dala hoon!".




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Harley-Davidson vs Women

The inventor of the Harley-Davidson motorcycle, Arthur Davidson, died and went to heaven. At the gates, St. Peter told Arthur, "Since you've been such a good man and your motorcycles have changed the world, your reward is, you can hang out with anyone you want in Heaven." Arthur thought about it for a minute and then said, "I want to hang out with God." St. Peter took Arthur to the Throne Room, and introduced him to God. God recognized Arthur and commented, "Okay, so you were the one who invented the Harley Davidson motorcycle?!" Arthur said, "Yeah, that's me..." God commented: "Well, what's the big deal in inventing something that's pretty unstable, makes noise and pollution, and can't run without a road?!" Arthur was apparently embarrassed, but finally spoke, "Excuse me, but aren't You the inventor of woman?" God said, "Ah, yes." "Well," said Arthur, "professional to professional, you have some design flaws in your invention:

1. There's too much inconsistency in the front-end protrusion;
2. It chatters constantly at high speeds;
3. Most of the rear ends are too soft and wobble too much;
4. The intake is placed way too close to the exhaust;
5. And the maintenance costs are outrageous!!"

"Hmmmm, you may have some good points there," replied God, "hold on." God went to His Celestial super-computer, typed in a few words and waited for the results. The computer printed out a slip of paper and God read it. "Well, it may be true that my invention is flawed," God said to Arthur, "but according to these numbers, more men are riding my invention than your's.





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Saturday, February 3, 2007

Attitude

A man wakes up home with a huge hangover. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table.

He sits down and sees his clothing in front of him,all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees it is in perfect order. So's the rest of the house.

He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table :
Honey,
Breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping.
Love you.

He goes to the kitchen.
Sure enough, a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper await him.

His son is also at the table, eating.
The man asks, "Son, what happened last night?"

His son says, "Well, you came home after 3 a.m., drunk and delirious. You broke some furniture, puked in the hallway, and gave yourself a black eye when you walked into the door."

Confused, the man asks, "So, why is everything in order and also clean, with breakfast on the table waiting for me?"

His son replies, "Oh that ! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off you shouted,

" LADY, GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME ! I'M MARRIED !'"




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Aussies Vs. India - Bal Thackeray

A cricket match is on between the Aussies & Indians at Wankhede Stadium. Bal Thackeray is sitting in the balcony watching it.

Suddenly Sachin hits a sixer to McGrath and the ball lands up just next to Bal Thackeray's seat.
McGrath shouts, 'Hey ! Gimme the ball back.' Thackeray shouts back, 'A, Maratheet bol.'

McGrath doesn't understand a thing & repeats his statement. This gets the same reply from Thackeray.
Now, a security official standing at the boundary goes to McGrath & tells him, 'Sir, that is Bal Thackeray.'

Now McGrath is excited, (as he has heard about him) and shouts, 'OH! BALL TAK RAY!' Bal Thackeray is happy and throws the ball back to him.




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Think Good

The 8th grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class, "Which humans body part increases to 7 times its normal size when stimulated?"

One answered until little Mary stood up, angry, and said, " You should not be asking 8th graders a question like that! I'm going to tell my parents, and they will go and tell the principal, who will then fire you!"

With a sneer on her face, she then sat back down, Mrs. parks ignored her and asked the question again, "Which body part increases to 7 times its normal size when stimulated?" Little Mary's mouth fell open; then she said to those
around her, Boy is she gonna get in big trouble!"

The teacher continued to ignore her and said to the class, "Anybody?" Finally, Kevin stood up, looked around nervously, and said "The body part that increases 7 times its size when stimulated is the pupil of the eye."

Mrs. Parks said, "Very good, Kevin," then turned to Mary and continued, As for you, young lady, I have three things to say,

  • You have a dirty mind,

  • You didn't read you homework, and

  • One day you are going to be very, very disappointed."






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Girls' Night Out

Two women friends, incredibly drunk and walking home got caught short.

They were very near a graveyard and one of them suggested they do their business behind a head stone or something. One of them had nothing to wipe with so she thought she'd take off her panties and use them, then throw them away. Her friend however was wearing a rather expensive underwear set and didn't want to ruin hers but was lucky enough to salvage a large ribbon from a wreath that was on one of the graves and proceeded to wipe herself with that. They then made off for home.

The next day one woman's husband phoned the other husband and said "We'd better keep an eye on our wives you know, mine came home last night without her panties." "That's nothing" said the other "Mine came back with a card stuck between her ass that said 'From all the lads at the fire station. We'll never forget you'."



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