Friday, April 24, 2009

3 Answers Men Are Afraid Of

1. (Whatever)

Men: What to have for dinner?
Women: Whatever...

Men: Why don't we have steamboat?
Women: Don't want, once i ate steamboat and later got pimples on my face.

Men: Alright, why don't we have Si Chuan cuisine.
Women: Yesterday we ate Si Chuan, why eat it today again?

Men: Hm..... I suggest we have seafood
Women: Seafood is no good, i ate it once, then later I got diarrhea.

Men: Then what you suggest?
Women: Whatever..

2. (Anything)

Men: So what should we do now?
Women: Anything

Men: How about watching movie? It's been a Long time since we
watched movie.
Women: Watching movie is no good, it's waste time.

Men: How about bowling, or do some exercises?
Women: Exercise in such hot day?

Men: Then let's find a cafe and have coffee.
Women: Drinking coffee will affect my sleep

Men: Then what you suggest?
Women: Anything

3. (You decide)

Men: Then we just go home
Women: You decide

Men: Let take bus, I will accompany you
Women: Bus is dirty and crowded. I don't want.

Men: Ok we will take a Taxi
Women: Not worth it... for such a short distance

Men: Alright, then we walk.
Women: What! Walk with an empty stomach?

Men: Then what you suggest?
Women: You decide

Men: Let's have dinner first
Women: Whatever...

Men: What to eat?
Women: Anything

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A Bachelor

This is a conversation that took place between (Y) and a marketing guy(X)

X: Which shaving cream do you use?

Y: Baba's

X: Which aftershave do you use?

Y: Baba's

X: Which deodorant do you use?

Y: Baba's

X: Which toothpaste do you use?

Y: Baba's

X: Which shampoo do you use?

Y: Baba's

X: Which socks do you use?

Y: Baba's

X (Frustrated) : Okay, tell me, what is this Baba? Is it an international company???

..

..

Y: No, He is my roommate

Cheers to all the bachelors of the world!!!!

Married people (or soon-to-get- married) can observe 2 minutes of silence to mourn the loss of this privilege.

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Thursday, April 9, 2009

A True Senior's Moment

An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen. The two elderly gentlemen were talking, and one said, "Last night we went out to a new restaurant, and it was really great. I would recommend it very highly."

The other man said, "What is the name of the restaurant?"

The first man thought and thought and finally said, "What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love? You know... the one that is red and has thorns."

"Do you mean a rose?"

"Oh, yes," the man said, and then he turned toward the kitchen and yelled, "Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?"

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Supermarket Joke

A new supermarket opened near my house. It has an automatic water mister to keep the produce fresh. Just before it goes on, you hear the sound of distant thunder and the smell of fresh rain.

When you approach the milk cases, you hear cows mooing and experience the scent of fresh hay.

When you approach the egg case, you hear hens cluck and cackle, and the air is filled with the pleasing aroma of bacon and eggs frying.

The veggie department features the smell of fresh buttered corn.

Though I do have to say... I don't buy my toilet paper there.

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At The Beggar's Expense

A man walks past a beggar every day and gives him Rs.10 and that continues for a year. Then suddenly the daily donation changes to Rs. 7.50

"Well," the beggar thinks, "it's still better than nothing."

A year passes in this way until the man's daily donation suddenly becomes Rs. 5.

"What's going on now?" the beggar asks his donor.

"First you give me Rs. 10 every day, then Rs. 7,50 and now only Rs. 5. What's the problem?"

"Well," the man says, "last year my eldest son went to university. It's very expensive, so I had to cut costs. This year my eldest daughter also went to university, so I had to cut my expenses even further."

"And how many children do you have?" the beggar asks.

"Four," the man replies.

"Well," says the beggar, "I hope you don't plan to educate them all at my expense."

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Entry To Heaven

A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde were on their way to Heaven. God told them that the stairway to Heaven was 1000 steps, and that on every 5th step He would tell them a joke. He told them not to laugh at any of the jokes along the way or else they would not be able to enter Heaven.
The brunette went first and started laughing on the 45th step, so she could not enter Heaven. The redhead went next and started laughing on the 200th step, so she could not enter Heaven either. Then, it was the blonde's turn. When she got to the 999th step, she started laughing.
"Why are you laughing?" God asked. "I didn't tell a joke." "I know," the blonde replied. "I just got the first joke."

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Wednesday, April 1, 2009

I Like Your Beard

A married man was visiting his "girlfriend"

When she requested that he shave his beard. "Oh James, I like your beard, but I would really love to see your handsome face."

James replied, "My wife loves this beard. I couldn't possibly do it. She would kill me!!"

"Oh please?" the girlfriend asked again, in a sexy little voice...

"Really, I can't," he replied. " My wife loves this beard!!"

The girlfriend asked once more, he sighed and finally gave in.

That night James crawled into bed next to his wife while she was sleeping.

The wife was awakened, turned toward him, felt his face and said, " Oh Michael, you shouldn't be here. My husband will be home soon!"

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