A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink, and while
he's drinking, the monkey jumps all over the place, eating everything
behind the bar. Then the monkey jumps on to the pool table and swallows a
The bartender screams at the guy, "Your monkey just ate the cue ball off
my pool table -- whole!"
"Sorry," replied the guy. "He eats everything in sight, the little bastard. I'll pay for everything."
The man finishes his drink, pays and leaves.
Two weeks later, he's in the bar with his pet monkey, again. He orders a
drink, and the monkey starts running around the bar. The monkey finds a
maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his ass, pulls it out and
The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did now?" he
"Yeah," replies the guy. "He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he
swallowed that cue ball, he measures stuff first."